Sabrina's Response to Jim's "Greta"

Jim’s story, “Greta,” is about a man, weak and tired, who is sitting outside of a hospital room. He is almost identical to the patient inside of the room. A candy striper named Greta notices him and asks if he needs anything. He says no, but she sits with him anyway because he doesn’t look well. She asks him what happened and he told her all he could remember was that they were driving around and he couldn’t remember who was with him. Just then his parents walk past him into the room without speaking to him. Greta goes into the room to see how things are and comes out and says everything will be fine. Suddenly she tells him repeatedly and sternly that he needs to go in the there. As he is reliving the accident in his mind, he suddenly wakes up in the hospital bed as the patient and Greta’s voice is replaced by his parents’. Before he was discharged he recognizes who he thought was Greta, but it turned out to be her sister, who informs him that her sister had died, but he is not the only one to see her in the hallways.
I really enjoyed this story. It had 2 nice twists within the story that were unexpected: that John was the patient in the room behind him, and that Greta was a ghost. This kind of story is one that has to be read twice to pick up on the innuendos that are suggested. For example, “He looked so much like the unconscious patient in the room behind him, that he could be easily mistaken for his twin brother,” and “The corridor was busy and often nurses or visitors would pass the young man slumped over on a bench in the hall next to room 224. But no one seemed to notice him.” Greta is suggested as a ghost from the nurse’s dialogue: “Greta was my sister but she is gone now…” and “You are not the first one to see her in the hall.” I am assuming Greta acted as a guardian angel-like character because she says “Do you mind if I go in and look?” and comes out and says “It’s going to be alright…vital signs are strong.” I like the way Jim portrayed John’s character before we find out he is the patient. It is almost as if he is having an out-of-body experience while he is in an unconscious state. This story didn’t seem to be missing anything; I wasn’t confused about anything except one part in the beginning. It says “We were out riding around,” he said, “I was driving, then… I don’t really remember.” “Do you remember who was with you?” She asked. “I… I don’t remember…” Did he think that the person in the room was in the car with him, and if so, why didn’t he recognize the patient as himself? That’s my only concern. Otherwise, nicely written!


In response to Mary’s “In Moratorium”
I really liked Mary’s poem. It spoke to me in words that drew a picture for me. Lines like “…kaleidoscope of confusion,” “It was a timely chance for me to swing at the illusion of a peaceful pantomime called cannabis,” and” In Jello, there is no noise from those whose voices carried criticism and judgement.” I’d like to know exactly what she was feeling when she wrote this piece.