? from Tara Hogue

When do we get our grades Carr?

BJ’s Response to Sean Brodie’s Story “Acute Leukemia Cancer.”

First in foremost I had to look it up to figure out exactly what acute leukemia cancer was. I had a hard time finding it. The closest medical diagnosis I found was acute Lymphocytic leukemia. So my first suggestion is if you are ever going to write about a specific disease make sure you put the entire medical name or a simple name like just cancer. People, especially those who have experience with this disease, will notice the difference. The story was about a little girl, Elizabeth, who was dying of cancer. I liked the idea of the battle between good and evil. Although, I was lost many times. I think the pace was just too quick in this story. One second we are in the hospital room, and in the next paragraph we are in heaven. I just wished you had focused on one idea for a little bit longer. But it was a good story I think. I liked the idea. And the granddaughter of Queen Elizabeth was great too.  

BJ’s Response to Bill’s poems “Faith” and “Once in a While”

William has an excellent written voice. His poems are easily identifiable as his own. I like that. Faith was a poem about his youth in church and not buying into the beliefs. I officially loved this poem more and more every time I read it. My favorite would be “Truth was locked in the cellar, But it slid me notes under the door.”  That line was great. I thought the whole flow of the poem was rhythmic.  Although I would have liked punctuation throughout the poem so I knew when lines started and ended. It would have been easier to read. And I honestly even tried to look it up, but I do not get what malus is? Lost! But anyhow, great read. On to the next one, “Once in a While” was about love I think, and a lover’s hold over the author, until the lover let’s go. But the lover stays on the authors mind. I like the whole idea because I have been there. I like that this idea has been constructed and placed into words, by a man who says he has never been in love Mr. Bill! My favorite line would be “And you keep spinning it around, every once and a while.” Again I would have liked some punctuation just so I knew where a thought started and ended. Because over all it felt like a dream that just flowed into itself, which now that I think about I kind of liked that. I kind of liked that I didn’t know where to start and stop…I felt like I wanted more.  Thanks Bill, your voice woos me!

Sabrina's Response to "Faith"

I really like this poem and I think I know exactly what the author is saying. My favorite line of the poem is the opening line: "The most vacant faces fill stained glass rooms," because I immediately envisioned a church and with people with straight, expressionless faces. "My mind was fixed when I was young" suggests that he was almost brainwashed as a child to believe in what he was told to believe.
"I went to these faithless places, I believed in the son" suggests that he at one point believed in what he was told to believe, but I do not understand what "Truth was locked in the cellar But it slid me notes under the door It wouldn’t let you hide your sordid hearts" means. Is this a way of saying that the truth was found out through your own experience? Like the cellar door being a place that these "saved people" would forbid you to look?
I like the poem a lot - I completely relate.

Sabrina's Response to "Once in a While"

This poem sounds like it's about a relationship gone sour from his girlfriend cheating on him...maybe she cheated on him in his own bed: "Its funny how you turned my bed into the most uncomfortable place I’ve ever been."
I like the last stanza that says "Then you finally let go But now it’s my head Like it’s stuck in a tire And you keep spinning it around Every once in a while" because it is a good metaphor to explain your confusion and emotions.
I felt like it could have been longer. This author tends to write short, simple and to the point poems. I'd like to see something longer with more imagery. I think it would make it twice as good.

Sabrina's Response to Acute Leukemia Cancer

The story is about a little girl who is diagnosed with cancer and taken to Baltimore, MD to be treated by a specialist. While the girl is resting there is a fight between good (granmother) and evil (demonic entity). The girl dies but she is protected and saved by the spirit of her grandmother and she goes to Heaven with her grandmother.
I liked the idea for the story. The fight between good and evil is always a good story plot, because it can be done in so many ways. I liked "She puts on the Full Armor of God, the Breastplate of Righteousness, Belt of Truth, Shoes of Peace, Shield of Faith, Helmet of Salvation, and Sword of the Spirit" because it was good imagery.
This story was rushed. It could have been detailed more to get a better feeling for the story. I wanted to know a specific, epic example of how Dr. Brodie has saved lives before. I want to know not only how the parents feel about their daughter having a terminal illness but how does the girl feel about knowing she could die? What had she been through before coming to Baltimore?
The ending was one line, and I was hoping to see a vivid image of the daughter ascending to Heaven with her grandmother.

Tara's Response to Once In a While

The author has a very creative mind. What i get from this poem is that somehow his own bed got dirty, my guess is because his girlfriend cheated on him in it, or something terrible happened in it. In the end it says "That you finally let go." Which leads me to believe that it was indeed a relationship because according to the end its stuck in his head like he can't believe that it actually happened to him. "It clinched my muscles and left them cold." This is my favorite line and i think this is the poetic moment , but I think you need more detail because right after that you give your main idea away. I want to hear more about the hurt and pain you went through, poems usually come from the heart i know if it was actually something the poet went through he could say more.

Tara's response to Faith

I think this is a good poem, it doesn't really give me what Mr. Kizzier likes to call a poetic moment. I think the closest line to the moment was "Truth was locked in the cellar." I think in the beginning you are talking about being in a church, maybe when you were baptized because you say "My mind was fixed when i was young." This line is actually kind of confusing, are you saying that you were born in favor of the devil. I definately need to hear more to completely comprehend how this ends, im stuck between two different things; that truth was that you belonged in hell or you worshiped the devil or that you were talking about seeing other people worship the devil.

Tara's Response to Acute Leukemia Cancer

I don't think that the author put enough details of the main character and it makes it hard to pick out one. The little girl I thought moved to Maryland to be treated by a specialist. In the end she dies anyway. I like how the author uses a demon and an angel (her grandmother) fighting for her fate. What i don't understand is how the demon even came to arise because supoosedly you are only suppose to be possessed if you did something wrong in your life. I like how she ends up in heaven with her Grandmother, but it was kind of expected. There wasn't a lot of detail, I think you could of made the seen witht the grandmother and the demon more exciting. I think that it was meant for the little girl to be the main character of the story because she is the only one that changes in the end, so i would like to read more about her and her disease. It was interesting.