Claudia’s Critique of Ayisha’s story: Autumn Dream
Brief Summary: Amy, who is now 16, has a recurring dream of reuniting with Eric who she fell in love with, but never told her feelings to him. He went away to another school to study. She wakes up feeling regretful for not sharing her feelings with him.
Response: I enjoyed the story, the description of the autumn leaves and the manner in which they met. Ayisha has a nice setting for her story. It seems they had a friendship which turned into more for Amy and I felt sad for her at the end as it was an unrequited love.
Areas to focus on for revision: Would like to know more about Amy and Eric’s relationship before he left. She was young so might have her reflect on her “crush” she has on him. I don’t know how old Eric is or was when they met. Wanted to know more about the town and how it had changed. This could be a metaphor for how her feelings had changed.
Overall a nice story.
Thanks-Claudia
Saturday, October 10, 2009
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