Valerie's Review of Josh's 'Don't call it a Comeback'

‘Don’t call it a comeback’ is a story about Danny, a pro fighter whose seems to have lost his edge in the ring and there for his wealth. With his cars and possessions being reposed, and he fears he cannot provide for his family, he decides to join up with an old friend to rob a jewelry store. Danny is shot and ends up dying, but not before placing a large diamond in his sons teddy bear that he took for luck.
“Don’t call it a comeback” had a lot of interesting parts, my favorite is when Danny and Natasha argue in front of the children, something it seems they never normally do. I think this is a great show of the financial stress that they are under. I also like how there is two side of Danny, the ‘old’ Danny, that shows when he is talking to Ronnie and goes to rob the jewelry store and the ‘real’ Danny, the one who talks sweet to his wife and kids.
What I found confusing however, was the way the story was formatted, with the dialogue in the text, it made it hard to follow. There were a few spots that I thought could have used a little more elaboration such as the conversations between Danny and Natasha and Ronnie and Natasha. There is some really good dialogue in this story, but perhaps enhancing some of the actions would make it even stronger.