Mary's review of Peter's fiction story

Peter, very nicely done. Even with the F--- being distracting at the beginning, they also enhanced the characters and gave depth to the story. I liked that you described exactly where they were and what they were doing. It was easy to read. Your work kind of reminds me of "Catcher in the Rye" although this piece flowed smoothly and I liked that. It ended like the reader wanted more, which leads me to believe this is a fragment, which is great!