heidi's response to Becca's poems

“Reflections”
This poem describes a beautiful sunset over the water.
You have a lot of good images (‘on a liquid stage,’ ‘chaotic beauty, for example) that make this a nice poem. The personification is particularly well done. The fact that the poem generally has two to three words on each line also works well with the idea of a sunset, as it gives the reader a sense of downward movement, like the sun setting.
What might make the poem even better is to be more specific about what you want the reader to see. Give specific colors, for example. Also, maybe make it more of a story by giving the colors/lights emotions and show them interacting with each other and/or their mother, the sun. Because it’s rather vague, it doesn’t bring in the reader as much as it could.

“Revolutions”
The poem seems to be relating the speaker’s feelings for being in a big city.
The title has a pleasant ambiguity, and the first three lines create a nice paradox, creating a setting of confusion right from the start. Then, words like ‘running,’ ‘whirring,’ ‘spinning,’ and ‘rotating’ give the reader a feeling of going around in a circle, or revolving. Other words also evoke specific images they speak of, such as ‘Flashing/ Neon/ Lights.’ There is a definite feeling of being lost, and this seems to be consistent throughout the poem.
It’s not clear, however, how the last three lines of the poem fit in with the rest. The image is interesting, but it’s not clear how this is a result of all that was written beforehand. Perhaps form more of a bridge between the majority of the poem and the last three lines.