Patrick's response to Josh's story

I really enjoyed this story. I thought it was a really clever idea for a story. The central character was very distinct and well developed. The reader knew what kind of man danny was and how he felt towards his family. I think you get a clear sense of what he wants and what he is willing to do in order to make things right for his family. He is definitely a man of sacrifice and I think that is a strong part of the story. Putting the dimond in the bear at the end was a great twist that i wansnt expecting, i thought he was just going to die and leave his family with nothing, so I'm glad the ending was uplifting. However one main problem that i encountered was the dialogue. It was cluttered in with the narrative and it became hard to follow. The writer should break paragraph during dialogue so the reader knows exactly who is speaking. But overall i enjoyed this story and i am looking forward to reading josh's next submission.