Review
Adam tells the story, possibly true (?), of a big family and their spent time at a photography store. The story develops by way of mischievous actions brought on by some of the younger family members. In the end, the photographer took a suitable and decent picture of the family. The epilogue shows the grandmother of the family receiving the picture printed on a quilt.
Critique
This story is comedic yet at the same time delivers the feel of family ties. I enjoyed the opening of the still and boring storefront becoming confronted with a large family. The following paragraphs reveal the extensive family’s descriptions, which works well in imagining the family’s actions. There’s a nice sense of suspense as the adults of the family, begin to grow more irritated after each photo blooper. I also feel that the epilogue works great with the story, following up on picture day. The story is a work in progress, some parts, such as the description were a little over drawn. I couldn’t see too many other real dilemmas besides structural/ grammatical mistakes. One thing to keep in mind is the way the narrator converses with the audience or reader; sometimes it works well if done correctly. I’d keep this story first person.
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